While walking in my neighborhood the other day, I passed my aunt and uncle. As I approached them my aunt said, "I didn't know you walked."
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I know things have happened in my life for a reason. That the choices I made were made because it was important for me to go through them. But its disheartening to realize had I made different choices, there might be people in my life that no longer are. So then I think about that, how I can be frustrated or upset by someone because I'm listening to my emotions and looking at the overall picture. Then I try to now look at the over all picture, and mend things in my life, and I'm at a loss. I don't know how. I don't know what path I'm supposed to take when I return to Charleston. I don't know what actions I'm supposed to take while in Columbus.
I'm ready to stop playing the role of girl who was hurt by someone. I'm ready to except that I've overeacted, misunderstood, took advantage, expected too much, not stood up for myself always, lived in my head, stayed because I thought it would change, and all those other things that brought me to today.
To anyone who I've upset, or made believe that I'm not a friend worth having: its my fault. I take responsibility for having said the things I did, acted they way I did, and making the decisions I made. I'm sorry that you don't see what you used to see in me, I promise its still there. And to anyone I've hurt, wronged, or pushed away we're still alive and there's still a chance to make things right.
huhn. didn't expect that out of tonight.
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