All through highschool I I was told that I looked much older than I was, and not by just creepy old men either, people from whom I felt would tell me the truth...so why do I feel like I look about 14 years old now? It's like I've regressed in my maturing process, stepped back instead of forward....I think its time for a change.
Along the lines of feeling its time for a change, I feel a change is coming on. Everyother time in my life that I have felt this it was exciting and it seemed like such a cool thing to be going through. But this is just making me angry. Something in my life that is going to help me line up some of the pieces of what I've been looking at all these years is about to happen, I can feel it...but its not happening soon enough. And more than that, I feel that even if I do realize what change I'm supposed to undergo, circumstances will hold me in the position I'm at currently. Maybe its that for so long now I've felt wedged into a place I didn't belong and I finally see that there could be a more comfortable place, and yet its not mine, and I can't have it...atleast not right now.
I often think I was born at the wrong time...like there was this time in history I was supposed to come but I missed it so they gave me this slot. Maybe I even missed two places...because I feel I should have come much sooner somedays and other days I think I missed my slot by a few years.
I'm probably in the right slot, I just mixed up the ages at which maturity and juvenileism come.
Hurry up change....
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