For a large part of my life when I had problems with my friends, I would simply pretend whatever it was wasn't a problem. Of course later in life problems became more complicated, but it wasn't until summer of my senior year that I learned to stand up for myself. Throughout the course of my senior year and all the way until I left for college I was confronted with situations in which the best thing for everyone involved was for our friendships to end. It was so hard at that time, but I see now how important it was for me to go through that and what it means to let go of someone you care about because you care about them.

Now, however, I'm having a hard time determining when to let go, and when to hold on and try to work things out. At what point in a friendship does it become hopeless? when is it still worth saving? and how can you tell?

I think its amazing/unfortunant/interesting/frightening that dynamics between people can be changed within one sentance. And when considering that, our friendships with each other should not be taken for granted. Whether we're conscious or not we are constantly working on our relationships with each other. Taking in bits of info and figuring how that knowlegdge fits in with what we know to be ourselves and what we know to be that person.

Its just that during the course of a friendship there comes times when a little extra work is required. And I understand that, but at the same time my pride prevents me, my self-conciousness prevents me, and my fear of screwing things up even more than they are prevents me. Too bad there's not a manual-it'd be mighty useful right now. I hate when things are weird between me and people I care about....I wish it would stop.